Why I Can’t Stay Silent: Finding My Voice at 44

For most of my life, I didn’t know what it meant to have a voice. Silence wasn’t just a choice—it was survival. As a kid, staying quiet was the safest way to avoid conflict. As an adult, it became a habit, a way to keep the peace. But silence doesn’t bring peace—it brings gut issues and resentment.

It’s taken me 44 years to realize what my silence has cost me.

It shows up in ways I didn’t expect—in the tension in my hips and in the chaos in my gut, where years of unspoken words have settled, refusing to leave. It’s in the moments I let others speak over me or stayed silent when I wanted so badly to say, This isn’t okay. It’s in the heartbreak of realizing that sometimes the people you expect to stand beside you choose neutrality instead.

This realization didn’t come all at once. It’s been a slow, messy process, built out of moments that forced me to find my voice.

Like the times I set boundaries in relationships, only to feel the sting of being misunderstood or dismissed. Speaking up for myself wasn’t easy, but it taught me that I don’t need to shrink myself to make others comfortable.

Like the moments when I had to stand up to family dynamics that were hurting me—when staying quiet would have been easier, but I knew it wouldn’t help me heal.

And like the countless internal battles I’ve fought—learning to say no, letting go of the guilt for prioritizing my peace, and realizing that I don’t owe anyone my silence.

The thing is, using your voice isn’t just about being heard. It’s about being honest with yourself and the people around you. That’s authenticity, baby. When you show up as your true self, unapologetic and real, you start attracting the people, opportunities, and experiences that are meant for you.

But there’s more to it than that. Finding your voice isn’t just personal—it’s powerful. Using your voice means standing up, not just for yourself, but for those who can’t always speak for themselves. It’s about showing up for the marginalized, for the people society tries to silence or overlook.

When we speak up, we help amplify the voices of those who’ve been pushed to the edges. We challenge the systems and attitudes that perpetuate injustice. That’s why finding your voice matters—not just for you, but for the world around you.

Finding my voice hasn’t been easy. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright terrifying. I’ve lost relationships and faced criticism. But I’ve also gained something far more important: clarity, strength, and the understanding that my voice matters—even when it shakes.

So here I am. Writing this. Starting this blog.

Cultivate is a space for me to share my truth—raw, unfiltered, and unapologetic. It’s about reflecting on the things that matter most to me: resilience, growth, the fight for justice, and the messy, beautiful process of finding your voice when the world tells you to stay quiet.

I hope my words inspire you to think, feel, and maybe even speak up—not just for yourself, but for the people who need your voice. If you’ve ever felt silenced, I want you to know this: it’s never too late to find your voice. The world needs your truth, your story, your perspective.

At 44, I’m finally learning to use mine.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. I’m excited for what’s ahead.

Because silence? Silence has had its time.